High School Reunion Pick-up Lines…

High School Reunion Pick-up Lines…

Like most people, I really didn’t want to think about or ever go to my high school reunion.  However, being the Master of Ceremonies gave me an opportunity to write jokes specific for the occasion.

When I write new material I’ll write it on  queue-cards to practice.  I also like to add when and where the audience is supposed to react.  However the audience doesn’t always react according to my queue-cards…

See, our school was known for the diverse ethnicity so it only made sense to acknowledge it right from the start and be proud of it…. but the audience must not have read the memo…here is how it played out…

Jayson, “(intro and then)… We had the Italians.”  (paused for audience to cheer).

Audience, “(dead silence)”

Jayson,  “(No reaction? Holy Crap!)…Apparently nobody liked the Italians.”

Audience laughed

Jayson,  “…we had the Portuguese.”

Audience, “(only a few people clapped)”

Jayson, “(Geez!) Thank-you for the pity clap.”

Audience laughed.

The audience finally got into the swing of things resulting in the reaction I wanted for the final punch line. The punch line wouldn’t make sense to outsiders so I’m not going to reveal it.

As the evening progressed, one woman comes running up and hugs me.  As she’s talking I’m trying to remember her name, but it eludes me and she is really gorgeous too.  What do I say? I’ll have to play it cool. I know, I’ll give her a compliment!  She releases the embrace and out comes, “Daaamn!  I don’t remember those! (looking at her chest)”.  Holy Crap! That was the compliment?! Really smooth Jayson.

A second woman comes running up and hugs me.  I’m starting to like this.  As she’s talking I’m trying to remember her as well. And she is really gorgeous too.  What do I say?  I’ll have to play it cooler than the last one… She releases the embrace and I say, ”Wow, technically we’ve know each other for 20yrs! Don’t you think it’s about time you put-out?”  Geez! I couldn’t leave it at knowing her for 20yrs?  I just had to keep talking?  My brain was out to get me killed…

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