When a Tattoo Artist Laughs….

When a Tattoo Artist Laughs….

When a Tattoo Artist Laughs…….the guy at the other end of the needle takes on the persona of Mr. Bean. All facial muscles twist and contort while your body is trying not to squirm in the chair. That’s when the involuntary rapid stomping of the feet suggests a little discomfort…..If the tattoo artist is also into visual comedy…. you’re screwed.

I was at a tattoo parlour checking out the art work on the walls when I happened to overhear a conversation between a mother and her daughter…

Mother giggles “I should get a tattoo of your face on my ass.”

The daughter smirks, “I should get a tattoo of your face on my ass.”

I looked at the mother, “Well, at least your face will look a lot younger on her ass.”

Holy Crap! Did I just say that out loud?!  In another room a tattoo artist snickers … and then a painful groan followed by feet rapidly hitting the floor…  George still hasn’t forgiven me for that one.

It’s really not my fault though….the mother and daughter forgot to include me in their conversation, so I had to say something.  I was feeling left out.

Like a lot of cities, tattoo artists & shops are regulated with strict guidelines.  The artists even have to take a written exam every 4 years.  Really?  An exam on what…spelling? Skulls and crossbones?

Of course there is more to it, but the one thing you’ll never see a long side all the satanic artwork in a tattoo shop….a Certificate for Sensitivity Training.  I’d make for a great artist in the sensitivity department because even when a 6’2”, 240lbs of pure steroid type of guy is feeling the discomfort, I’d use words that promote happy thoughts…like….”Suck it up princess”.

So there I am, sitting in the chair getting a tattoo. I didn’t watch the process because I only wanted to see the end result…from a clean area of the skin to the final mythological phoenix on my arm.

When it was time, I looked….frowned with disappointment (tattoo artists hate that),  “Holy Crap!  That’s not the butterfly I asked for!”  The split second of panic on her face was priceless………she now wants to tattoo my face on my ass….


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